Not enough Time for Anything

When I created this blog I wanted to use it as a journal, like a daily diary, for letters to my family, and for Bible Study purposes. But it hasnt gone in that direction for me! It seems like everything was fine and my life just turned into a train wreck! I know the Devil has interrupted because I cant find the time for my Bible reading so I am convicted for that. I need God to turn things around, but where do I find the time to ask? I have prayed so often for him to reveal himself and tell me what it is I am supposed to be doing with my life, and maybe I am just too busy to see him and hear his answer! I needed to use this few minutes i have to spill my brain and also say thanks to those of you who do read (or try to read my journal) I am missing all of you and I am happy for the time I have at this moment to check in on everyone! Here are my complaints for today:

1. My grandmother fell and broke her hip, she is home from the hospital because my grandfather signed her out AMA (against medical advice). Why? Because he is a lunatic and thinks he knows more than the doctors. Now for the next several weeks my family gets to see the most precious person in the world slowly disappear. He will not give her the meds she needs for, what little part of her mind she has left, to stay here with us! I miss her so terribly and the talks we used to have! Is is bad to Pray for God to take her and take care of her? Because that is where she will be the happiest!

2. I have 8 weeks left to finish all three classes and try to work at the same time. I am about to start Chemistry, I am halfway through Pyschology, and I have to prepare a 5 page portfolio for the school to obtain 3 credits for Leadership Longview. Can I do this? I just so want to slow down and just say to heck with the teaching career for this year! I am tired and worn down.

3. The most important complaint and worry on my mind right now is that my four year old spilled some candy powder on our carpet last week and I turned to her and said "That is why we dont eat in the living room"! I didnt yell, just had a stern sound like I was aggravated...(which of course I am, I am stressed) she looked at me with the most sincere heart and tears rolling down her cheeks and said "can you forgive me for doing this?" I lost it ! Then today she asked if I could forgive her for getting the tiniest speck of dirt on her pants--she was scared and worried about me being mad. What Have I Become? The mother I swore I would never be--Too stressed to pay attention and love my children! I get so impatient and I lose my temper so easily and I take it out on my children. Now my daughter thinks I dont love her because she got her pants dirty!

4. And of course all of the other parts of life that we moms worry about is rolling around in there too... Will someone break in and get my babies, will I live to see them grow up and get married? Will God continue to Bless me and keep them healthy? Will we go broke before I find my career and will my girls have to suffer because of things we have done?


There are books I need to read to ease my mind... there are Prayers I need to say to feel at Peace.. There are things that are beyond my control and I need to let go! What do you do? How do you do those things? I am lost at this point!
I will check in on everyone but I may have week long breaks between posts until something finally gives! Thanks for reading. (if you havent given up by now :) )

by the way--I have LOST 9 pounds! Working on the next 9!

Week 1 is Over and I am Tired of Tuna!!

Well-I cant say for sure if I have lost the 2 lbs or more because--well, this week I have a severe case of PMS! I get the full nine yards of symptons, BLOATING (excess fluid) Pain, grumpy,...etc....etc...etc!! I feel quite sure I have lost those 2 lbs because I have cut down to 1 coke in the morning and WATER WATER WATER all day! Plus Tuna for lunch every day and then cereal for supper! My snacks consist of fat free or 100 calorie packs of snack mix. The bad thing is I am HUNGRY all of the time which is not normal for me! I may gain more weight on a diet than without it! I love this challenge--I will be started my walking program this week and I started my tanning (which for some reason makes a BIG difference)

My MOthers Day was a typical day doing laundry--but my girls did take me for some much craved "ice cream"! YEP the full fat Baskin Robbins MInt Chocolate chip and I was in love! That was my supper for Sunday night--but it was a special day!

Keep at it everyone and I will try to visit for some motivation tomorrow before I start in on homework!

Have a Wonderful Day--A thought to leave you with!

I am so Blessed to be a mother to 2 beautiful little Princess'! I hope they forgive me one day for being so impatient and grouchy someday! But most of all I am Blessed to have the most beautiful, sweet-spirited mother of all! I know she doesnt read this but I truly am thankful for her and I thank God for giving me every moment!

I got this in an email on Friday and thought I would share it with everyone:


I had a poem here that I had received in an email; however, today I received a comment, apparently from the person who wrote it. Sally, I am unable to contact you, I had no idea you wrote this, I just thought it was beautiful and someone had forwarded the email in one of those "mass forwards"! It was perfect for a mothers Day poem. That poem is great for any mother to their children.

What a great way to celebrate-winning!! To all of you beautiful mothers remember to pamper yourself--

I’ve never been tagged for a meme except by email and I am one of those that my sister and friend always answers the "least likely to respond" ; Jesse has been so kind to tag me and since she is a new friend I will abide by the rules. Each player starts with seven facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog the rules and answers. Then choose seven people and make sure to leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged. this may propose a problem because I dont have 7 blogs to tag --i will do my best. Here you go Jesse this is for you:

1. I just graduated College at 34!

2. My husband says I am Mean! I say he is a pain in the rear! :)

3. I am a very nervous person and scared of my own shadow!

4. I love to coke and chocolate.

5. I have a hard time finishing projects I start (except for my scrapbook pages of course) so school and this blog have been my toughest challenge!

6. I have matching hair bows for my two little princess' for every outfit they own!

7. I married a man completely opposite from me-this is a definite challenge.

Thanks Jesse-this was kind of hard. Now I am tagging the following:

Tracy-The REal Estate Girl
Niki-Mayhem and Miracles
Kisses From Heaven

I cant think of anymore at the moment--I will have to get back with you on this one!

IT IS TIME!

Ok the day is here and it is time for my "diet" to start--YUK! I dont even like that word. If you have come to my site and would like to learn more just click on the button on my sidebar--this ought to be interesting! My goal is to lose 40 lbs! Our Cruise time is in October and I need to be in that 2 piece with all of the other wives who will be going! This is great accountability for me but I dont know! I will start with Tuna, Tuna Tuna!!! Have a great day and if you are doing this --GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

Beautiful Sound!

I have not had time to post with Graduation and family get togethers but tonight I had to find at least 5 minutes to capture the moment I just had with my 15 month old little miss!

I was rocking her to sleep and singing "Jesus Loves Me". That song always seems to calm her down ! I sang it twice and then Twinkle Little Star then I stopped thinking she was just about asleep. Her eyes were closed and she was resting her head on my shoulder snuggled up with her "bankly". All of the sudden, I heard the most beautiful sound......"bebebemommeahhhh.....bebebemomme.....ahhhbebe" It was in perfect tone -she was singing herself to sleep! I stopped for that moment smelled her head and kissed her little lips then thanked God for that beautiful sweet princess! Even though when she is awake she is banging on stuff and screaming at the top of her lungs. God knew I needed that sweet voice to come out so I could calm down from a long day! Then as I walked into my bedroom to check on Miss Priss -she was screaming loudly at her daddy because she was ready to get out of the bath---well my moment was over but it was great while it lasted. I must say both of my children have great lungs like their mommy!

Graduation is finally over.. I have a couple of classes left to get the paper but it was a wonderful (hot) ceremony. and I must apologize.. just because I graduated from LeTourneau University ( otherwise known as the "smart people's school") my writing ability has not improved. I will keep reading blogs from some great women and hopefully learn some big words along the way! Going to bed.. Good night!

Prayers for Heather

Please remember to keep HEather in your Prayers today as she undergoes her Brain Surgery. May God lead the hands of those physicians and lay his healing hand upon her.

Also keep little Ethan in your prayers, His family needs 2 million people tested in a short time in order for them to find a match for his bone marrow. Please visit his site as well and print out the letter for Oprah and send one in the mail on his behalf.

I have been Blessed!

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

This is the scripture given today on the daily Bible Verses on my side bar. I just tried to read some passages online to see if one would stick out so I could use it in my journal! But nothing hit me, so I went to my blog page and there it is!!! This Saturday will mark the day I have been looking forward to for 4 years! It seems like yesterday when I told my husband that I wanted to get my degree! "I was tired of being a PEON, and I needed to get that paper just to prove to myself I could"! Through the past 4 years or so , I have gone to school EVERY Tues or Thursday from 6-10--done homework beyond belief, worked a full time job, and gave birth to 2 children! It has been a tremendous work load--but I am just about finished. I have sat here today and thought, I dont feel like I have done anything, I wanted a profession immediately , I dont want to WAIT! But then I realized how God walked me through this whole process. When I started school I had just been approached about a new job opening through a NEW company. I was working at a Pulmonary clinic doing Collections and billing, and my job was terribly stressful, not to mention I was 3 months pregnant! I accepted the position at the job and found it to be so flexible, I could come and go when I needed for doctor appointments and for school things. I even sat in my office and did homework, and have for the past 4 years. Now I just take a day during the week devoted to me, my child, and homework! Without this job opportunity I would not have made it through school. God also, Blessed me with a little girl who was so easy to take care of. She never cried, she could sit in a swing and watch Baby Einstein for an hour, she was on a perfect schedule, It gave me time to work on Homework if I needed at home. Oh and did I mention there just happen to be a program for working adults offered at the local PRIVATE Christian College, so I had to take two Bible courses, plus all of my professors were Christian and we Prayed and had devotion before we began class each night. God also gave me my husband. He is a very patient, passive person, (sometimes annoyingly passive :)) He went to the same college and new the workload I would be under. He was very understanding and helpful. He even took off work one day to help me with a 20 page paper that I must admit I wrote in ONE DAY! (Most of my homework was done ON THE DAY OF CLASS IN ONE DAY) (Sorry I have to pat myself on the back for that :) !) Anyway as you can see, everything just sort of went smoothly. Now I am graduating and will have a wonderful opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do--TEACH! I will be eligible for the career (provided I pass the test) I want, plus have time with my girls during holidays and summers! What an awesome Blessing it will be when everything is complete! I never thought I would see this day! It has been a long Hike, and I have 10 more credits to finish up then I will finally have that paper. What a Great Blessing and Accomplishment God has allowed me to have. Thank you God for my family and for this opportunity. If it is Your will please place me where I need to be in my life. In His name.... AMEN!

Thanks to ALL of you for the words of encouragement on my comments! You have all become my friends and my inspiration!

Job Searching

Today, I will be attending the job fair at a local school district! This will be my 2nd one in a week and I am absolutely a nervous wreck! I want to have a teaching position by August so bad I can taste it! I went to one on Saturday and was pretty much told "you need to have some experience"! But -that is not possible -I cant be a substitute because I have to have full time work! I am working with Junior Achievement this year, so that will help some! I am about to start teaching Sunday School, that will add a little more!

I know I am supposed to Pray God's will, and teaching may not be his plan for me--but I can only Hope it is! I have been so excited about this opportunity so I can have my career and be home when my babies are home!