Blessings and Changes

Today is the first time I have posted on this journal. I learned about this term "blogging" from the website www.ashleysstory.org. If you have not read her story, YOU definitely should. This little girl has been a huge inspiration in my life. God used her website to get to me and so many other people in this world. I have been struggling with so many issues in my beliefs and in my Christian Faith. My mind seems to work at 100 thoughts a second. I seem to "well, this is happening because..." and the fill in the blanks seem to be negative. Why this is so, I will never know, I cant seem to reach the positive side of things. So I here is what i have come up with:
On Ashley's website there was a person who commented and left her blog site info in her posting, I simply went to that website to see what this was about and noticed she had poured out some of her thoughts, as does Trish (Ashley's mom) and so many other ladies posting on that website. I thought to myself, How awesome it must be to sit down and 'get all of those thoughts' out of your head, even without saying them out loud. And then I thought, there are so many people who are praying and saying things about our FATHER that I only wish I could feel inside.... Now, I am email queen, everything i need to say whether to friends, or even in arguments with my husband, I say them by writing them down. SO, WAHLAH, I found the perfect tool. I will write type my thoughts as if this were my hand held journal, nothing to keep up with , so i should be safe. Now it is just spreading the site so I can get insite from some of those people who have inspired me so much. I know God is working through them and I know He is wanting to reach me so now I have to let it happen, and study it as much as I can. It's hard to totally let go, but i am trying, its hard to know, is HE listening, but I am getting there. So this can be a good starting point. I have been so Blessed in the last 6 years that it is hard not to look for the ball to drop at any time. Wednesday was Adyson's (oldest child) 4 year old birthday. Four years ago God blessed me with the beautiful baby girl that I have dreamed of since I was 15 years old. She is gorgeous and sweet, and has a little stubborness of mine that can be a little trying sometimes. How can I not find the positive side of that. We have been sick, so tonight we are celebrating with family and on the 27th we will be celebrating with 12 of her friends. What fun, have your birthday spread out over a whole month, (i love it that way). She is such a wonderful addition to my life that I am so thankful to God in Heaven for allowing me the opportunity to be her mom and giving me a Wonderful husband by my side to raise her with. Thank you God for loving me today and for loving me always. I will be putting my favorite Bible verses as daily verses once I figure out how this "blog" world works. Thank you to anyone who reads and can give me any insight.